Harlequins don't mix with Witches
by ArtisticWord
Summary: "Geez.Dark much?" The woman rolled her eyes and chewed her gum noisily. "I know a bat who'da loved to meet ya! Anyways, I'll at least tell ya my name, Sweetie Pie! The name's Harley Quinn!" - The Scarlet Witch didn't seem to want to remember the name, but she was unfortunately listening at the time but quietly, of course. She wanted no conversation with this pest. (Short oneshot)


**I hope you all enjoy this one! BTW,Its strictly a growing friendship. NOT a romantic.**

* * *

POP.

Wanda's right eye twitched immediately, and her crossed arms only tightened more across her chest. It was like this for three hours now;her watching this childish freak in front of her and Steve doing some paperwork over their...new member. Something about The Avengers not being able to press charges should this member be too much to handle, which was probably a jab at that funny little incident where Falcon failed to stopped some guy who could shrink really small somehow. It was a real pain when people pointed that out in the news, how The Avengers couldnt stop a tiny guy. It was a real pain having to hear their new member chew bubble gum like nobody's business. Oh, how Wanda would love to yank that gum out of her mouth and shove it up her stupid little nose until-

"What was ya' name again, Sweetie-Pie?"

POP.

Forcing back a river of Sokovian swear words, Wanda forced herself to look at the loonatic woman. Her odd white and red shirt was tattered at the belly, while a small jacket covered the shirt only a little bit. The woman's skin was as white as snow, and her cheeks positioned small tattoos above huge red lips. Her long blonde hair was kept in pigtails, dipped like chocolate in blue and red hair dye...separately. Fingers gloves covered her palms completely, but her shorts exposed far too much of her muscular legs. Honestly, Wanda couldn't help but wonder how American girls could wear such revealing clothing.

"Shut up." Wanda glared at her, hissing almost as a serpent would hiss. She was not fond of this woman at all, for she was completely repulsive. She deemed of insanity...and Insanity was what got her brother killed during the destruction of her Homeland. In fact, her homeland's doom was caused by Insanity.

"Geez. Dark much?" The woman rolled her eyes and chewed her gum noisily. "I know a bat who'da loved to meet'cha...Anyways, I'll at least tell ya my name, Sweetie Pie! The name's Harley Quinn!"

The Scarlet Witch didn't seem to want to remember the name, but she was unfortunately listening at the time...but quietly, of course. She wanted no conversation with this pest.

"It's a real honor ta be among you guys and gals, even if it is kinda like a parole deal." Harley shrugged to herself, and then put the back of her hand to her cheek as if telling Wanda a very important secret. "Don't tell anyone, but I wouldnt mind any kinda parole with that red,white and sexy hunk around me. *Sigh*...Th' very sound of his voice makes my heart flutter."

A crush on the captain? Only slightly amusing, but not enough to make any smile appear on Scarlet Witch's face. She was curious,however. "Even if you're not lying, vhat about your nasty leetle _Clown_ back in Arkham?"

Harley look deeply surprised for some reason...and then slowly Doleful. "Puddin...I mean, Mistah... _The Joker_ can go jump in a tank of starving sharks for all I care...Ah'm over him."

"Right...It is a miracle." Scarlet Witch raised an eyebrow.

"IM SERIOUS." Harley abruptly seethed at Wanda, but noticed her bipolar side and managed to calm back down. "Look...He was a nutjob who liked to kill too much!"

"And you are nothing like him?" Wanda took the silence as an invatation to continue. "You never liked to kill? Don't play like you are not as insane as him..."

"Oh believe me, If I was as insane as him..." Harley giggled. "You really think they'd let me be with you guys? If that was the case, they'd throw him in an orphanage full of babies... with a minigun."

 _Minigun._

Wanda forced her stoic look to remain on her face, despite the name of the weapon used to kill her brother having been mentioned. Her allies would never had mentioned that at all, even if the problem they were facing was slightly bad. "Be that as it may, you're not mentally safe."

"WELL,DUH!" Her 'partner' exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. "That's why they brought me here! For when you guys start running into the really insane creeps. Then I come in and help you guys out! Helps with the lawyers I got representing me for what the public calls crimes. Heck,I've got one lawyer who's blind. BLIND! That's the best joke I've ever heard!"

"Hmmph...Do you always talk this much?" Scarlet Witch asked cheerlessly, her frown showing bleakly on her lips. "Or am I just the really unlucky one?"

"Oh no sistah!" The blonde smiled as wide as The Cheshire Cat. "That'd be Me. You see, I started a Joke once, and-"

"I DON'T CARE." The brunette Avenger growled lowly, making Harley shrink back a bit. "Don't you have something else to talk about? Something not about yourself?"

"Okay!" The crazy one sardonically smirked at Wanda. "We can talk about ya brotha!"

"..."

"...why are you giving me that funny look?"

"How could you possibly know about my brother...?" Wanda turned to face, her expression almost somber. "There's no way you could have known..."

"You're right." Harley rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I was honestly guessing that you had a brother, seeing as how he looked jes like you in that news report on TV...Is he really dead?"

Wanda's chest was rising and falling with each ragged breath she took. "Shut up. Now."

"Oooooh...He is dead. I was wondering what all those bloody holes in his body were..."

Her hands were gripping the side of her head now, as the flashbacks of seeing her dead brother for the first time came back fresh in her memory. Despite trying to keep calm, Wanda still whimpered. " _Please_ Shut Up."

To her honest surprise, Harley's expression grew soft and...actually sympathetic towards her. It was as if Harley could remember something from her own past that was as tragic as Wanda's. The heroine couldn't tell what is was then, but maybe she might look into things when she got the chance.

"Alright, Alright. I'll be quiet." The jester girl reassured her, holding up her hands briefly as show of peace. When she saw Wanda's confused expression, she added: "What? I'm not heartless."

The Scarlet Witch had a vague thought that this woman could be playing with her, pretending to be sympathetic towards her only to show her true colors in some painful manner. That would be far too embarrassing for her to committed such an act, right? It's not like Harley was capable of making friends anyways.

"Kin I please get your name though?" When Harley added a sweet and innocent smile afterwards, Wanda knew it was a fake. But she decided that this Woman couldn't keep calling her 'Sweetie pie' anyways. "

"...I am Vanda. Vanda Maximoff."

"...that accent is really messing up your name."

Pop.

Wanda's right eye twitched.


End file.
